Today is my baby girl's first birthday. It's hard to think just a year ago Lisa and I were smitten with joy to welcome Nora Theresa McGaughey into this world. I remember that first night in the hospital as I slept on the uncomfortable futon while Lisa got the reclinable bed. Of course, it could have been worse, I could have been sleeping on a cold sheet in a plastic box like Nora was. Whoever thought of putting a newborn baby who is used to a tight, warm, uterus in one of those things is stupid. Of course the child will cry uncontrollably thus ushering her parents into a new form a sleep depravation they didn't know existed. Thankfully we've been lucky that Nora has slept pretty good her first year, minus the times when she has been sick. Then it seems like we're back in that cold hospital room all over again!
It's a been a wild year. You can prepare for parenthood and the changes it brings to your life, but it's like most people I know think about the NFL. You can watch the game every Sunday coach from your couch and say how much better you would call the plays, but if you were in the middle of the action you'd suck worse than James Franco hosting the Oscars. One thing Nora has taught me is how little patience I thought I had. I thought I could run on little amounts of sleep, I thought I knew how to calm my child when she cries, I though I knew how to get her to like She-Ra and thus presenting her with a strong female role model (It's still in progress), but I learned that I don't know jack! There were times I was alone with Nora and she was crying and I could not get her to stop crying. I got so tense and angry I had to put her down, collect myself, breath, etc, and then pick her up and keep trying. Even today, when Nora wakes up in the middle of the night and I can't calm her right away my tension level goes up so I have to collect myself, breath, and skip the 'etc' part because I want to go back to sleep!
This year I learned their is no other way to make a fool out of man then to have him watch a baby. Every time Nora did the slightest thing it was amazing. She lifted her head up; I cheered. She smiled at me; I cheered. Her poop started to be a normal shade of brown; I cheered. Ok, I made that last one up but you get the picture. I just keep seeing her do new things every day and I try to think about how amazing that is in her mind. She's learning not only about the world around her, but all these things she can do as she gets stronger.
Then come the smiles. She can literally do anything, smile, and make it ok. She's in Marcie's food, she smiles; it's ok. She tares apart my blu-ray collection; she smiles, and it's ok. Yes, she's already got both Lisa and I wrapped around her finger. I think one of the top moments for me was last month, on a Sunday, Nora was waking up and calling out "mamamamama" since Lisa is the one who usually gets her out of her crib, but the weekends are my turn. So I get up, walk into her room, she sees me, and says "dadadadadada". It was pretty cool. Nora has just got a hold of the walking thing and when she walks toward me with a big smile and I know she's smiling because she see me, and in that moment, I get it. I get why people love their children so much, and all that joy it's supposed to bring. Nora cries and she calls to me because she knows I'm only one of a few people in this world who can make her feel better just by holding her. It's a great feeling. Sure I hate the poopy diapers, the 3am wake-up calls, and her constant need to touch everything she's not supposed to touch, but the good stuff is what it's all about. Plus it's an excuse to buy really cute clothes of your favorite sports teams. The way I figure it once I get her walking good and potty trained she can just stop growing. Then the worst is behind me.......right?
One of my old friends is about to welcome his first child into this world soon so here are some helpful hints I've learned in the last year I hope helps out him or anyone who needs it.
1) Get a TV and DVD player in the nursery. When it was 3am feeding time for Nora I'd get up and change her diaper. Then I'd hand her off to Lisa, turn on Netflix, and then go back to bed because there wasn't much more I could do. Estimated time awake : 10 minutes.
2) Always ask, "what do you need." It's kind of like asking "how was your day," 90% of the time you'll get a short answer and be off the hook, and the other 10% of the time it'll be a long answer or you'll have to actually do something. Better change that 10% to 50% too.
3) Don't be frustrated if she doesn't drink a bottle well at first. Remembering, who would prefer a plastic nipple when they're used to a real one?
4) Learn the theme songs to PBS shows, they help during a crisis.
5) Find a comfortable spot on the couch you can sleep while holding the baby who is sleeping. Corners are great, and you can get quite a bit of "your TV time" in that way.
6) As she gets older, keep her feeding and nap schedules around the same time every day. Everyone wins there!
7) The one cabinet you didn't child-proof is the one she will be obsessed with.
8) Get used to the floor. Sitting with her is a good way to keep her from crawling away, and if you lay down on the floor with her pacifier in your mouth she'll charge at you like a bull.
9) Embrace toys being everywhere. At some point you just don't bother picking them up, you just push them to one corner at the end of each night.
10) Keep Momma fed and rested and she will do the same for baby. Seriously, do not piss off a hormonal new mom.
