My X-Ratings

With a little over a month left till X-Men: Days of Future Past is released in cinemas everywhere I'm sure I'm not the only fan boy both excited and worried about this new film.  Director Bryan Singer gave us, in my opinion, the two best X-Men movies to date so this instills me with confidence for DoFP.  But there have also been some really crappy X-Men movies, and also a few somewhere in the middle. 

I remember when X-Men was coming out the Kokomo Tribune was asking people to write in about who their favorite X-Man was.  I said Iceman, and my response ended up being published in the newspaper plus, I got free movie tickets to see X-Men.  Ever since I've seen every X-based movie in theaters, and most were midnight showings.  Some I enjoyed, some I thought were ok, and some made me hate Brett Ratner forever!

X-MEN (2000)

Without this film several things would not have been possible.  The superhero/comic book film movement might not have exploded like it did if X-Men hadn't lead the charge.  We never would have seen every geek and nerd's dream come true as Jean-Luc Picard finally became Professor Charles Xavier.  He may never have become bff's with Ian McKelln as well.  Also, the world may have never been able to recognize what an amazing thespian Hugh Jackman is.  Hard to believe Jackman was originally not even supposed to play Wolverine.  Actor Dougray Scott left the role to be in Mission Impossible II.  Some nights, if you listen closely, you can still hear Mr. Scott kicking his own ass for that one.

Based on the popular Marvel comic series, X-Men was about a group of genetically enhanced humans, called mutants, that are sworn to protect a world that fears and hates them.  However, evil mutants are out to cast revenge on mankind for it's fear of them.  This film had a lot of up-and-comers in it like Halle Berry, James Marsden, Anna Paquin, and of course, Hugh Jackman.  Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen played CharlesXavier and Erik Lensherr, two former friends who now are on opposite sides of a war between humans and mutants.  Along with Jackman, Stewart and McKellen's performances were the delight of this film!  Some of the characters didn't shine like I would have hoped, with most of the focus on Wolverine, but I blame the writers, not the actors.  

I could go into more detail about some of the more disappointing things like the female casting or how Iceman is not Mr. Nice Guy, but actually a class clown, but I won't.  This film was exactly what it needed to be to attract a wider audience while staying true to the heart of the source material.  It had some great easter eggs for X-Men fans and left us with a open ending that made us believe there'd be a sequel.  

RATING:  B

X2: X-MEN UNITED (2003)

Bryan Singer returned to the directing chair in this sequel to the successful 2000 film.  Loosely based on the X-Men story line, God Loves, Man Kills, we are introduced to Colonel William Stryker.  Stryker is looking to invade the X-Mansion in hopes of capturing Professor X and the machine Cerebro.  He's planning on using these resources to wipe mutants off the planet.  The X-Men must unite with their nemesis, Magneto, in order to take down Stryker and save mutant kind.

The entire original cast returned and actor Alan Cumming came in to play Nightcrawler.  It was exactly what anyone wants in a movie sequel.  The action and effects were better, the drama was more intense, and it deepened the emotional journey for all our heroes, not just Wolverine.  I loved the addition of Cumming's to the cast and thought he played a terrific Nightcrawler.  Bryan Singer brought everything up a level and set up the third film even better than he did the second film.  Too bad Singer would not return to complete this trilogy.  Again, one of my few complaints is the miscasting of Jean Grey and Storm.  They should have dropped those two early on just like Halle Berry dropped that horrible African accent from the first film.

RATING: A-

X3: THE LAST STAND  (2006)

I remember when I went to see this film in theaters. As I watched it I just kept thinking, "this couldn't get any worse" but then it kept getting worse.  I would barely even call this an X-Men film!  I came out of the theater as disappointed as a man who had been left at the alter.  I walked up to the Superman Returns poster, and in the middle of hundreds of people, cried out, "Please don't suck too!"  I got a few looks, and even though many may disagree with me, I like Superman Returns.

When I say this film is loosely based on the most popular X-Men story of all time, The Dark Phoenix Saga, "loosely" is putting it very loosely.  Brett Ratner stepped in for Bryan Singer in the director's chair and apparently had a goal to kill this trillion dollar franchise before it even hit the billions.  Jean Grey returns from the dead just as a pharmaceutical drug has come out to "cure mutants."   Magneto finds a broken Jean, now known as the Phoenix, and wants to use her to destroy the cure and mankind.  I can't really blame Ratner and Fox for trying to complete a movie trilogy, but they obviously had no idea the potential the X-Men franchise could bring at the time, otherwise they wouldn't have killed almost all of their main characters.  There was also a lot of new characters introduced like Angel, Colossus, and Beast, who really didn't have anything to do because of the focus on Wolverine, Jean, and Magneto.  This movie also crossed plots with one of Joss Whedon's Astonishing X-Men stories, Gifted, and at one time Whedon was in the running to replace Singer as director.  If only that would have happened!  Read Gifted and The Dark Phoenix Saga, and see how badly they screwed this movie up.

The only thing I can honestly say I like about the film is the Pyro/Iceman fight.  Bobby got all iced up and took down his former friend.  But they also had him arrive on-scene with Kitty like a little bitch instead of using his ice slide like he should have.  Based on the trailer for DoFP, that problem has been rectified!   

RATING: F

X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE (2009)

As if three X-Men films where Logan was the main character weren't enough for you, he now gets his own film!  Hugh Jackman returns to tell the tale of how Wolverine got to the beginning of X-Men, how he got his claws, how he lost his memory, and what his relationship is with Sabertooth.  Also, more mutants were introduced in this film including the fan favorite, Gambit, played by Friday Night Lights alumni, Tyler Kitsch.

Having lived for hundreds of years Logan and his brother Victor join a government assault team full of mutants led by William Stryker.  Logan walks away after being done with killing, but Victor won't let him go.  He murders Logan's girl, which makes Logan ask Stryker to help in his revenge.  Stryker turns Logan's bones to adamantium and renames him Weapon X.  

I don't know where to begin with this film.  The horrible claw effects, the horrible misuse of Gambit and Kitsch, or the horrible, horrible ending.  You can tell this film was made not to be good, but to cash-in on a popular character from a popular movie.  This film is full of characters that never develop, much like X3, because the main focus is still on Logan.  The final battle and "adamantium bullet" just made me cringe.  I think Wolverine is a somewhat overrated character(like Batman) but he and Hugh Jackman deserved better than this.

RATING: D

X-MEN: FIRST CLASS (2011)

After X3 killed the franchise's potential and the Wolverine origin film killed the franchise's dignity Fox did the only thing they could do; reboot.  This film was supposed to be just a Magneto origin story but ended up becoming much more, although I don't think it needed to be more.

Erik Lensherr is a Holocaust survivor in 1962 who only has one goal; kill the man who murdered his mother, Sebastian Shaw.  While attempting this Erik meets a young Charles Xavier who is working with the government to also bring down Shaw.  Erik joins their cause as he and Charles bring together a team of mutants to stop Shaw from preventing nuclear war during the Cuban Missile Crisis.

Like the first X-Men film, this movie is full of up-and-coming actors like James McAvoy, Michael Fassenbender, and Jennifer Lawrence.  But you could have taken only several of the main characters out of the dozen that were in the film and the message would still have be the same.  Charles, Erik, Raven, and Shaw are the only essential characters.  Everyone else could have just been thrown out of film, and were only in it for the action sequences.  Alex Summers is Cyclops's brother, so I'm not sure why he was a teenager in the 1960's.  The White Queen is supposed to be the fictional mutant version of Angelia Jolie, a powerful bitch who is tries to do good things in bad ways.  And just when you think we'd get an X-Men film without Wolverine, guess who makes a 10 second appearance?

Fox didn't call this film a reboot of the franchise but they should have because it debunks a lot of the continuity of the first three films.  I'm told DoFP will help clear up some of the errors in the franchise, but I'm not going to hold my breath on it fixing every one.  Scrape away all the over-the-top action sequences that were pointless, along with the handful of pointless characters, and what you have at the center of the film is actually quite good.  It's the tale of Charles and Erik's friendship that turns sour.  If they had only focused on it more instead of all the other bullshit the film could have been great; especially with McAvoy and Fassenbender performing it.

RATING:  C-

THE WOLVERINE (2013)

Hugh Jackman returns to play Wolverine in a sixth film.  Thankfully, this semi-sequel was much better than Logan's first solo film.  The plot is loosely based on Wolverine's samauri past and his time in Japan before he joined the X-Men.  But this film takes place after the events of X3.  Logan has distanced himself from the rest of the world, feeling guilty after killing his love; Jean Grey.  But a woman soon arrives to take him to Japan where a man from Logan's past offers him a chance to become mortal and live a normal life.

This X-film features only two other mutants besides Wolverine, which allows the focus to stay more on Logan, and give the supporting characters more to do than just show off their powers.  This movie is basically Logan fighting a bunch of Japanese mafia guys and it's great!  It allows Jackman the ability to make the character shine and helps us remember why he is one of the most popular comic book characters in today's society.  

The ending does become a little silly, but if you watch the Director's Cut there is a ninja/Wolverine fight sequence that was cut out of the theatrical version that is just plain awesome!  Plus, there are a few other deleted scenes that help the film tremendously better in regards to plot and character development.  So my rating of this film is off of the Director's Cut.  The credit scene teases X-Men: Day of Future Past, but I more enjoyed Logan's gift he got at the end of the DC version.

RATING: C+

My Top 5 Worst Comic Book Movie Performances

Last week I asked my friend to use their brains, dig deep within their souls, and give me their choices for their top 5, and bottom 5, comic book movie actors/actresses.  Some surprising conclusions came to surface, especially when I started making my own bottom 5. Most of the top actors were men, while most of the bottom 5 were women.  I don’t think this is sexist.  I enjoyed both Michelle Pfeiffer's and Anne Hathaway’s portrayals of Selina Kyle, but they just aren’t in my top 10, but I would say top 20 perhaps. I think this has more to say about Hollywood than the actors and actresses.  How most directors and producers look for the prettiest face, rather than acting ability, to bring out the best in the characters.  I would also blame the writers and studios who allow such great characters to be belittled in these roles that are strong female fictional role models, but still are seen mostly as a love interest for the male hero.  I only blame the thespians themselves last.

Anyway, I started whittling down my list there was one male that came to mind; Nicolas Cage in Ghost Rider was pretty bad.  However, I watched the first film while doing stuff around the house and never even bothered seeing the sequel.  So while I don’t like most Nicolas Cage films I thought it was unfair to judge him on something I didn’t bother to really concentrate on.  I’m also giving the cast of Batman and Robin a break.  I’ve seen the five leads of that film in other things and I know they all had the acting chops to play what their characters should have been, but again it just came down to bad directing, writing, producing, etc.  Finally, a fan favorite in this category is Jessica Alba as the Invisible Woman.  While I agree she wasn’t my 1^st, 2^nd, or 3^rd choice as Sue Storm I think she did a better job than the following actresses. 

5) January Jones as Emma Frost/The White Queen

Anyone read Joss Whedon’s Astonishing X-Men?  How about Grant Morrison’s New X-Men?  Emma Frost is more than just arm candy for Sebastian Shaw.  In X-Men: First Class she had hardly any emotion or sass.  Emma Frost is a down right bitch, and a great character to read.  She’s not just a Barbie doll who turns into a chandelier.  I know Miss Jones is on a hit TV show, Mad Men, but this is major motion pictures.  You either bring it, or you get left out of the sequel.  I rest my case.

4) Famke Janssen as Jean Grey

Imagine you’re a 16-year-old girl who is dating a shy, and timid, field leader of the X-Men.  Now imagine you get the powers of a god, use that power to kill billions, kill yourself because of what you did, and then realize it wasn’t you at all, it was copy of you, and while you were asleep in the water some "thing" was living your life and getting freaky with your boyfriend!  That’s just half of Jean Grey’s story.

Before all that happened Jean was the girl-next-door that all the boys as Xavier’s school wanted to hook-up with.  She was sweet as Sue Storm and as powerful as Charles Xavier.  So why did they get the villain from Goldeneye to play this innocent young woman?  I never liked her, I never got what Scott and Logan saw in her, and I never saw Jean Grey in her.  I cheered when Wolverine killed her in X3.  That, and Iceman going full-ice, were the only good parts in that film.  I’m too mad about this. I’m moving on.

3) Jennifer Garner as Elektra Natchios

The Man Without Fear always seemed to have a blind-spot when it came to Elektra, and so did 20^th Century Fox when they cast Jennifer Garner.  I mean, I thought Garner looked really hot in Daredevil. I’m also glad this allowed her and Ben Affleck to work together more because then they ended up getting married, and they are one of my favorite Hollywood couples.  But Garner should not have been Elektra.

Elektra is a killer.  She’s not nice, she likes to play with Matt’s emotions, and get him into trouble. But Mr. Murdock didn’t need any more help in that category.  Garner is too non-threatening and I just didn’t buy it.  Personally I think her and Famke Janssen should have switched roles.  Then neither of them would have been on this list.

2) Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane Watson

I’ve never been a big Spider-Man fan.  While I enjoy the finer parts of the character and mythology I’ve left the web-head obsession to my brother.  And because of his passion I know more than I need to know, and one thing I know is that Kirsten Dunst couldn’t play the real Mary Jane Watson if you stretchered her six inches, gave her a boob job, and every other word out of her mouth was ‘tiger.’ 

MJ is a supermodel for Christ sakes!  I liked Maguire as Peter Parker a hell of a lot more than I like Andrew Garfield, but Dunst is not Mary Jane.  Mary Jane is confident and sassy.  She’s so hot that no one can understand why she is dating, and married, Peter Parker.  Dunst is the girl-next-door who would have made a good Gwen Stacy, but as MJ I’d have rather have seen someone who actually makes me say, “ wait a sec.....he’s with her?”

1) Halle Berry as Ororo Monroe/Storm

Of course this had to be my #1! I’m a big X-Men fan and this is one of the biggest tragedies in movie/comic book history!  I prayed Bryan Singer would not bring her back for X-Men: Days of Future Past, but since he has I pray she doesn’t have more than just a few lines.  Just because she’s the #1 black actress doesn’t mean she has to play the #1 black, female, superhero.  I think Halle Berry totally deserved her Oscar for Monster’s Ball, even though, like Swordfish, all anyone cared about was her breasts.  When you start off the first film with a bad African accent, a half-assed accent in the sequel, and by the third film you are speaking totally American; well I have no respect for you in that role.

I heard that Berry didn’t even want to do X3 unless her part was expanded.  I get that.  Storm is a great character, but when you focus on Wolverine for five, soon to be six films, it’s hard to add any other good character arcs into the mix.  Storm is claustrophobic and used to be worshipped as a god in Africa.  Yet Berry’s portrayal made her seem so normal it was lame.  I never thought I wanted to see more of her in the films.  Oh, and that spinning, tornado, move in X3, I died a little inside when I saw that.  

5 X-Men Who Should Have Their Own Solo Movie

This weekend The Wolverine will hit screens around the country.  This will be the 6^th time Hugh Jackman has played this character, and the 5^th X-Men film that is centered around him.  Yes, I know, Wolverine is pretty awesome and you have to put the star at the center of your film if you want it to make money, but is anyone else sick of Wolverine taking up all the X-Men glory?  As a long time X-Men reader  I can tell you that there are plenty of mutants whose story is just as interesting, if not more so, than Wolverine’s.  Logan’s last solo film didn’t turn out so well, and though this new one focuses more on his samurai roots I think it’s time the studio gives another character their shot at a solo film.  Lucky for them I know five X-Men who would be great in their own movie.

5) STORM

Halle Berry played this character in three films and did a pretty crappy job if you ask me.  She had three different accents in all three films and word has it she wasn’t going to do X3 unless she got more screen time, which ended up poorly wasted, just like that whole film.  Berry will play Storm again in the upcoming X-Men: Days of Future Past and I can only hope her screen time for this film is limited to several minutes, and no speaking lines.

Aside from Berry’s film performance the character would be a great focus of a film.  Ororo Monroe started out as a little pick-pocket thief in Africa till she developed her mutant powers to control the weather.  Then she was worshipped as a god by her people.  Professor X found her and convinced her to join his cause.  Since then she’s gone on to be the X-Men’s field leader and co-head mistress of the Xavier school.  Her flaws include her doubt in herself and the claustrophobia she developed when she was buried alive as a child.  The character is dripping with leading lady material.  Just don’t let Berry try to do that horrible African accent again, please!

 4) HAVOK

For some reason this character was in X-Men: First Class, played by Lucas Till.  This never made sense since his older brother looked at Charles Xavier as a father figure, yet in the film Xavier and Alex were only a few years apart in age.  Throughout most of his life Alex Summers has lived in the shadow of his older brother, Cyclops.  Havok eventually stepped out of that shadow to lead his own team, X-Factor, and it’s been a bumpy road ever since.    

Alex spent his childhood jumping foster homes until Scott and Xavier found him and joined them as part of the X-Men.  There he met Lorna Dane and they fell in love.  Polaris and Havok dreamed of leaving the X-Men and the fight for mutant liberation, but just like his brother and Jean Grey, the two kept getting pulled back in.  They helped form the government-based mutant team, X-Factor, and thought they could live happily ever after.  Since then Alex has since been turned in a brainwashed assassin, traveled to an alternate reality to lead a rebel band of X-Men, and lead his father’s group of space pirates, The Starjammers, against his little brother, Gabriel, to stop him from ruling the galaxy.  Now Alex is an Avenger, working beside Captain American and Thor, trying to redeem himself for the wrongs he and his family have done.  Tell me this torchered soul doesn’t have enough for a screenwriter to work with? 

 3) JOSEPH

The character first appeared in Uncanny X-Men #327 with no memory of whom he was.  He looked like a young Magneto and had his mutant abilities as well.  Joseph was taken in by Sister Maria and bunch of orphans, but after seeing what he can do he sought out to find the X-Men.  He encountered Rogue and soon the rest of the X-Men and everyone believing he was Magneto, their former arch-enemy.  He joined the X-Men in many battles, mostly famously the fight against the villain Onslaught.  But Joseph’s true origins were a lot complicated than it seemed.

Joseph was a clone of Magneto, created by one of Magneto’s scorned allies, Astra.  She had Joseph attack Magneto and he almost defeated the Master of Magnetism, but ended up losing his memory in battle and later stumbled upon Sister Maria’s home.  When Magneto threatened the world by reversing Earth’s magnetic pull only Joseph could stop him, and did just that, sacrificing his own life in the process.  His whole existence was a search for who he was, and he turned out not to be the villain most thought of him, but a hero; till the very end.  Let the water works begin to flow!

 2) GAMBIT

Played by Taylor Kitsch(or Tim Riggins as I think of him) in Wolverine: X-Men Origins,Kitsch didn’t do the best job of playing the Cajun X-Man, but I’ll give him some points for trying to bring to life this extremely complicated and diverse character.  Remy Lebeau grew up on the bayou with his adopted family, a guild of thieves.  In order to keep the peace between the thieves and assassins Remy married his best friend, Bella Donna, but her brother, Julian, would have no such peace.  In a heated battle Remy killed Julian and was banished from the bayou. 

Remy traveled around, thieving, until one night he ended up saving Storm’s life.  He soon joined the X-Men and tried to live an honest life, but the sins of his past keep coming back to haunt him.  Gambit fell in love with Rogue, a woman he could never actually touch, and their forbidden flirtation has been a highlight of the X-Men for many years.  Remy now lives at the Jean Grey School for Higher Learning, helping teach young mutants how to control their powers and hoping that enough good can make-up for all the bad he’s done.  Redemption always makes for good entertainment!

 1) ICEMAN

One of the original X-Men, Bobby Drake has always been the comic relief for his teammates.  Sometimes he’s been considered a little too much of a jokester, certainly nothing like his film adaptation, played by Shawn Ashmore.  Bobby Drake’s early career found him in love with Lorna Dane, but he lost her to Havok.  Bobby quit the X-Men once to take of his father, who was brutally beaten while standing up for mutant rights.  During Operaton: Zero Tolerance, while the rest of the X-Men was either in space or being held captive, it was up to Iceman to lead a small group of mutants against the evil Bastion and save mutant kind. 

One of my favorite Iceman stories is when the X-Men were being attacked by vampires Iceman was blessed by a priest and then threw down his frozen holy water to defeat the invaders.  Bobby was the first X-Man Wolverine asked to join him when he decided to start his school because he knows how likable and strong Bobby is.  Iceman has a strength and a charm that has gotten him this far in life, but can it get him far enough to make things work with the co-head mistress of the Jean Grey school, Kitty Pryde?  Everyone loves and underdog!